Last fall, Brad and I were in a small group. The opening session began with an ice-breaker: "What is your greatest fear?" So we start going around the room and hear all the standard answers - some funny, some somber. Then Brad's up...I am bracing myself, memory jolted back to the very first ice-breaker we played as a couple; "3 Truths and a Tall Tale." Each person writes down three things about him/herself that are true and one thing that is false. Then the rest of the group tries to guess what is false. His tall tale was that he had a wooden leg...No one really knew us so you could imagine it was a bit confusing. Surely he wouldn't use something like that as the lie about himself! Even after he shared that he did not have a wooden leg, several people (we found out much later) were convinced he did and would try and catch glimpses of it whenever possible. Brad is a very whitty man!
So back to the "Greatest Fear..."
Everyone is looking Brad's way expecting another standard answer. Oh no, not Brad, nothing is typical with him! His answer..."Number eight." Genious. But there again, not many people in the group knew us. A little explanation was given...we have seven children...number 8... yada-yada...and the ice was definately broken. I love moments like that...moments that are forever sealed into the ole' memory box.
Well, as you might have already figured out (could it have been the ultrasound pic that gave it away?!?) Brad's greatest fear became a reality this past October when I found out that I didn't ovulate between days 12 and 14 which is standard, but day 17 and voila - preggo. Who'd thunk? Accidental impregnation was my first thought...this really shouldn't have happened! Can anyone say overwhelmed?!? I now know that is completely possible to be completely terrified and completely excited all at the same time. After the initial emotional reaction, I settled down into the truth: God is the giver of life...this is no accident to Him. He has chosen, once again, to entrust us with His gift of life.
(Can you tell this little one is doing a somersault?)
If we've come to know anything about our Great God it's this: He is sovereign and we can trust Him in everything He does. Really over the years we've come to know much more than that, but over and over again He calls us to trust Him. How can we really know that we trust Him until we've lost all means of providing for ourselves and managing on our own?
I think there comes a time for us all when the Lord brings or allows things into our lives that reveal just how much we rely on self, and just how much we fear displeasing our Father. The path God calls us (all of us) down is so far out of our ability to handle - so far beyond our control. He knows that - He actually set it up that way (Acts 17:24-28)...but for some reason we (all of us, Christians especially) have bought into the lie that we can do it, we're expected to do it (and get it right), and if we fail along the way God is dissappointed. That's a harsh accusation against our loving and holy Father; the One who created us and loved us with such love that He gave the life of His one and only Son to rescue us all from the bonds of sin and fate of hell.
Writing this reminds me of the prodigal's older brother. Read the story in Luke if you have time. Whoa! I have found myself both the prodigal and the disgruntled son. But, praise Jesus! He loves me too much (and you too) to leave us with faulty perceptions of who HE is and what He expects. I've been asking a lot of questions over the past ten years. And...to my delight (and freedom)...He is answering. It's amazing what we gain when we come to Him and His Word not to find the right answer, but to find Him!
So...all that to say...our greatest "fear" has become a great delight! What fear do you have today that God is asking you to entrust to Him so He can turn it into a delight? He'll do it...He longs to do it...go ahead...trust Him and see what happens!
(BTW - the official estimated date of arrival for our son is June 30, 2010)
Blessings and love from the Sims family!
6 comments:
Jami, Congratulations on such an incredible blessing. I am thrilled for you guys. I also need to talk to you about sharing your testimony with some college students. I will send you a message later, just wanted to know if you were willing.
Congrtas!
We are so excited for you all! Your pattern of girl boy girl boy continues!!!
Another gift and blessing enters this world in your care! Congratulations! Praying for y'all!
Hey girl! God taught me 5 years ago that surprises for me are NOT surprises to him. Congratulations on another wonderful child. May God bless your family with grace, wisdom, patience, and provision.
(sorry- "trinki-spinki" is Petrina)
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