There will not be any pictures in this post...sorry...I love the pics, too, but there is too much for me to record and none of the pictures I have would be appropriate. God is AWESOME!!! This is what I've been "shoutin' 'bout!" I mean CRAZY AWESOME! I mean RADICALLY AWESOME! I mean SOVEREIGNLY AWESOME! Can I get a shout out 'bout that?! YES, LORD, YES! You are Holy and Mighty and Righteous and Good and Gentle and Loving and Merciful and Tender and Powerful. POWERFUL!
This past summer was spent in a very foggy place. It wasn't the desert...it was a place I had not been in some time. Everything seemed cloudy. My thoughts askew. My words unfruitful. I knew in my spirit that God was still on the Throne and that His presence was all around me. My soul was scrambling to make sense of what I was experiencing - trying to understand - pursuing affirmation from those around me. CRAZINESS - plain and simple. The nail was hit so hard on the head for me this weekend at the Highlands Ladies Retreat (which was so life-giving and life-affirming).
I am going to attempt to put it into words so that I can soak in what God is pouring out on me. My prayers for God to overwhelm me are being answered in a profound way. Devestate me, God, with Your presence! Yes, Lord, have Your way. The dam burst this weekend and I am drenched in His presence. Consumed!
Most of Friday I prayed, "Lord, please give me a breakthrough. I know what is real spiritually, but I am needing to experience it on an emotional level - clear the fog - open my eyes again so that I can see and hear clearly."
God spoke to me so powerfully about seeking my identity in Him. Seeing myself as He sees me. I get it wrong; my friends get it wrong; the world certainly has it wrong...but, the King...He has is right. His thoughts towards me are beyond number! His affection for me beyond understanding! He takes the vineyard (Song of Solomon) (the place of my pain and shame and heart-ache and hurt; the place of deep wounded-ness) and purchases it for me and places it in my care. The vineyard is now mine. Healing has come; the vines have been pruned and well-tended. The vineyard, redeemed by My King, is now to be a place of fruitfulness and pleasure. Broken vessels. The Lord is speaking broken vessels to me.
Now is the time...time for what...time for judgment to come within the body of Christ. No condemnation - no pointing and wagging of fingers. Time for us - the Church - to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal that which we most fear...we have gotten it wrong...we are striving to live aright all the while the spirit man within us is being lulled to sleep - too comfortable - too complacent - too full of doctrine and theology - too focused on appearance.
It is time for brokenness...refining...cutting away of the worldiness that we have allowed to creep into our lives...deep searching and revelation by the Holy Spirit...time for the spirit of pride to go...time for the spirit of religion to go...time for the divisive jezebel spirit to be crushed...time for the spirit of division to be broken...time for the doubled-minded spirit to be put to death. These are not just things...they are spirits, entities that we, the church, have unknowingly allowed to come in and rob us of unity and humility and transparency and life. Oh God, have mercy on us! Pour out Your Refining Light. May the darkness may be exposed and expelled. Your kindness leads us to repentance. Kindness...Oh, do you see how the enemy has twisted and warped the call to repentance? The call to repent is compassionate and merciful and tender and kind. May the Holy Kindness of our Gentle Shepard fall on us! Jesus walk among us and make us to realize Your presence!
Broken vessels devestated by His holy presence - broken before Him. Like stained glass - He breaks the vessels and takes the pieces and carfully, masterfully places the pieces of brokeness back together and binds them with His Spirit and makes them into vessels of light and healing and hope and comfort and joy and peace and love and truth. Beautiful, broken vessels. Beautiful, broken vessels through which the Spirit of the Living God flows. Yes, Lord Jesus, yes and amen! His life and only His life flowing and pouring Himself through us, the Church, the broken vessel, out onto the world around us. It is time for the Church to judge ourselves - to return and rest in His finished work. Isaiah 30.
God is speaking to me - through the day - through the night - in the shower - during school - through Bible study - through circumstances - through friends. Overwhlemed by His Words. Earlier today I said, "Slow down, Lord. I've got to soak this in." "Speak it out," was His reply. Speak it out! So I am "shoutin' in the shoe" today!
The spirit of negativity was nailed to the cross - that ever-searching, never satisfied spirit was crushed. I have been defined by the Lord and I will be defined only by the Lord. Can I get a HARDY AMEN!!!!!!! Only You, Lord Jesus, give me my name. I am the Beloved of the Lord! :) And... no one can take my name away from me. The Lord has given you a new name, too. What is it? What is your name?! No one can take His name from you! No one! We are His Beloved! We ARE HIS BELOVED!!!!!
