“…But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show
you the most excellent way. If I speak
in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding
gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the
gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and have a
faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and
surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” 1
Corinthians 12:31-13:3
My speech – my spiritual gifting or ability – my wisdom – my
knowledge – my faith – my generosity – even my surrender matter not if they are
not born out of and guided by love; not human love which waivers, but divine
love which is constant. This passage
came alive to me as two of my learners at home and I memorized it and recited
it day after day. The implications of
this particular passage of Scripture were enormous in my life – as so much of
my Christian life was lived out of doing “what was required” rather than out of
being “loved by my Father.”
As a child growing up I was not well loved as a result many
times I do not love well. Early on in my journey with Christ as a young adult I
determined to tear down barriers to loving and being loved, but it seemed at
every turn I came up short. Somehow I devised
if I could get it all “right” then love and grace and joy and peace and the
whole-nine-yards would abound. Bible
study and prayer with the goal of attaining holiness, wisdom, and knowledge became
my life. And indeed I excelled!
Yet, something was missing – something was lacking. Internally, I struggled to find a deep
abiding sense that I was loved. I knew
all the right answers, but I didn’t feel the sheer delight of my Father’s love
towards me. What I didn’t know then (that I am keenly aware of now) is that all
my striving was an effort to make myself pleasing and acceptable to my Creator
in hopes of being loved and knowing His love; it had been about me, because
somewhere along the line I missed His love, the truth that I already had His
love.
Through painful circumstances God opened my eyes to the misconceptions I had about Him and His word – even about myself. Sometimes in our Christian lives we can
wrongly place so much emphasis on personal holiness, righteousness, and
self-examination that we are unknowingly led into spiritual narcissism, and
once there it is hard to hear the simple truths given to us through Paul…”follow
the way of love…the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through
love…God’s love compels us…nothing can separate us from His love…”; and John,
the Beloved Disciple, “God is love…God
lives in us and His love is made complete in us…so we know and rely on
the love God has for us…there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out
fear…let us love one another, for love comes from God.” (1 Cor 13, Galatians 5:6, 2 Cor 5, Romans 8:38, 1 John 4:8,12,16,18, 7)
The pieces of the God’s puzzle keep coming together before
me. First Corinthians 13 through God’s
Holy Spirit illumines my mind and these words echo, “It’s all about love; it’s
all about Love.” Nothing I do can manufacture love. Plenty of what I do can make me feel better (or worse depending on the day)
about myself, but at the end of the day when it’s just me and God nothing I do warrants His love. The vessel cannot mold
or fill itself; and that is exactly what I am – a vessel. I must be molded and
filled by the One who created me. Only
the One who breathed life into me physically and spiritually can impart His
love to me and enable me to share His love with others.
I now know that I was loved as well by those who were in
charge of my care as they were loved; they could only love me to the extent
that they had first been loved or received love. I find it a rule in my own life that when I
am loving poorly it’s because I have failed to perceive and receive the love
God is continually pouring out on me , and when I am loving well it is only
because I am fully aware that I am standing under and soaking in the deluge of
God’s love. (Romans 5)
Friends, nothing we do matters apart from being loved by God
and allowing Him to love others through us.
Let us choose the more excellent way; the law of love over love of the
law. May it be His love for us and His
love for others what wake us up in the morning and puts us to rest in the
evening.
